Xochicuicatl (lakinicoyote) wrote in breast_milk,

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Howdy, hey

I guess as one of the mods, here, I ought to introduce myself.

I've had the term "Boob_Nazi" thrown at me a time or two, but I believe that's more than likely due to the fact that I
1. did have a breastfeeding icon for a while,
2. have friends who are fairly rabid, and
3. breastfed my oldest until he was 22 months and am still breastfeeding my youngest, who is now 20 months.

I have been through just about every breastfeeding related issue you can throw at me, and am, frustratedly, at times, still breastfeeding.

Personally, while I believe in extended breastfeeding, I am also not of the opinion outlined in the breastfeeding userinfo. Breastfeeding, like any other parenting decision, is a personal choice. I do not believe it is a baby's birthright, I believe it's something done out of love and informed opinions, and having said all of that, I feel it is best, but only if as a family the choices have been completely analyzed and all involved feel that it is, in fact, the best choice for their family, as a whole.
I don't believe that applies across the board, nor do I believe it is something you can BLACK AND WHITE issue on.

Having said that, my parter, myinnerlizard is here to offer male perspectives on the breastfeeding end of things- as in, being with a partner who breastfeeds.
I am here to bump up the knowledge and understanding areas of breastfeeding as it related to biological children and their families. I really hope someone experienced in adoptive nursing, relactation, etc, will also chime in, and offer their support to those going through that.

I cannot speak for the other mods, but I would hope that this does not become another breastfeeding where people are ushered off to less active communities or judged on their choices or lifestyles.

The reasons that I quit breastfeeding are really simple- breastfeeding does not define me as a person, or a mother. Any mother who has ever been "touched out" or felt like she was no longer human, but a canteen for a child can attest- we're still people under the "glow" of motherhood, there. It is not the end all be all of my existence, and I really didn't feel that freaking out and braying loudly about how "normal" it is, while at the same time acting very abnormal was conducive to helping anyone through the choice to breastfeed or not. In short, as many others have said, lots of batshit ladies in that community. I got into it more times than I can count, because I don't feel that bullying mothers or their partners is any way to help anyone.
If I see the kind of judgmental bullshit that runs rampant over there, I will see to it you are banned quicker than shit, no warning.

This also goes for abuse of Kellymom links. Jesus Christ people, learn to speak for yourself. ;)

I also ask that if someone is venting, you really, seriously think about what you say before you comment. Sometimes, you just gotta get shit off your chest (No pun intended) to people who may understand. You don't need to be inundated with insane amounts of well meaning advice, just having someone say, "BOY, I feel ya!" is enough.

I do not look down on mothers who choose to formula feed, for whatever reason. It's really not my place to tell anyone what to do with their breasts or their babies. I also realize that not every mother who breastfeeds also co-sleeps, cloth diapers or practices AP parenting. I, myself do not agree with everything Dr. Sears has to say.
There you have, it, that's my intro.

ALSO, in defense of shemale, I want to say it came as no surprise at all to me that some people were making nasty inferences as to her motivations. These are the same women who will tell you that not breastfeeding is child abuse and who have seemingly forgotten that their breasts, are, in fact, a primary erogenous zone.
While I do not condone any "fetish" that involves a children in the actual act, lactation is a whole 'nother ball of wax. My partner finds my breasts sexy, that does not make him someone who is "sexualizing" breastfeeding, that means, he sees a breast with liquid on it, and finds it sexy. Not a baby, liquid. If it were any other liquid, I don't think people would be up in arms. It is my belief that too many people really want to find something sick and twisted and see the Boogiemen in everything.
I personally think it is very important to realize that once we become nursing mothers (Or fathers, for that matter) that we are still sensual creatures. Honestly, all shemale's attention to my lactating breasts have been, in my eyes, completely and totally appropriate and never once something to be construed as "sick" or somehow wrong.
I am not a lactation fetishist, by any stretch, nor would I ever condone someone sexualizing photos of breastfeeding children.
However, sexualizing an erogenous zone? That's different.
I really hope that members here will feel comfortable in knowing that a long time nurser, in spite of some of her kinks (Meaning me) is comfortable with shemale and her motivations- as well as the one approving some of the applications.

Also, I realize that while harping on judgementalism, I was judging, as well. Here's the thing, I've had five breastfeeding mentees (meaning people I mentor, I don't know what word I am looking for) who left that community and were very put off by some of the women there, for those reasons.
I dealt pretty directly with the fall out, and so, yeah, I feel pretty qualified to say what I said.
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